By: Kacie Starr Long | When I was a single, I was one of those women that really desired marriage. I prayed fervently that God would send me a God-honoring and faithful man that I could do ministry work with. It took awhile, but God answered my prayers. At the “tender” age of 34, I walked down the aisle and married my dream man.
Since my wedding day, I have written a book to encourage single women (God, Where Is My Husband? 10 Things to Know While You Wait), conducted workshops and led Bible studies all geared to helping single women prepare for marriage. Because it had taken so long (at least in my opinion) for me to get married, I always thought I valued and appreciated my marriage; until one day I found myself grumbling and complaining.
I was alone in the basement, and my husband couldn’t hear me, but God certainly could. As I threw clothes in the washer and took fresh clothes out of the dryer, I grumbled and complained about doing my husband’s laundry. Granted, some of my dirty clothes were mixed in too, but most of the laundry piled belonged to my husband. As I slammed down the top to the washer, I huffed:
Why was I always washing his clothes?
He needs to just do His own laundry!
All of these clothes are his, this is just too much!
As I huffed and puffed and transferred wet clothes into the dryer, all the while complaining about laundry and other chores, God asked me a question:
“Do you want to just be married or do you want to be married and a wife? Because wives serve their husbands.”
God revealed to me right in the midst of heaping dirty laundry piles, that many women were legally married. They had walked down the aisle, gotten the ring and had the piece of paper but they didn’t have the heart of a wife. Wives had the heart of God, and they served their husbands.
Being a wife didn’t mean being a doormat, or a maid, but being a wife meant being a helpmeet to her husband, and being willing to serve him and assist with his needs. After all, didn’t my husband serve me? He not only covered me in prayer but he also covered our household financially and did specific chores and errands around the house.
What was I griping about?
My wife-heart had gotten cold and I needed a new shift in my perspective. It certainly wasn’t God-honoring to whine and complain about doing the laundry, and trust me my whining and complaining wasn’t relegated to the laundry in the basement. I had a bad attitude about most things. I didn’t say much, but internally I groaned and exhaled when I came time to cook dinner, or prepare my husband’s plate first.
God began to touch my heart about ways to honor my husband. That as I served him, it was really a way to honor him and share my gratefulness and appreciation for him as my husband. As I thought about the many nights as a single woman where I poured my heart out to God, praying for a God-fearing husband, God had answered my prayers, and I had developed a bad attitude about serving him.
Recently, I started a new initiative called #HonorThursday. Every Thursday, I post a picture of my husband on social media and share a few sentences about why I love and appreciate him. It’s an opportunity for me to share specific reasons on why I value and respect him as a man and a husband.
Romans 12:10 says we should outdo one another in showing honor.
We value what we honor.
Song of Solomon 2:15 lets us know that its the little foxes that spoil the vine. I don’t want laundry or household chores to cloud my perspective or harden my heart when it comes to recognizing and valuing the gift God gave me in my husband and in our marriage.
If you would like to join in on #HonorThursday, grab a picture of your spouse and write sweet words about why you honor and appreciate him and post it to social media. Your sharing will sow seeds of encouragement and strength to your husband while also encouraging other wives to do the same.
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12
“God, help me to always see things from your perspective. Help me to always sow seeds of honor, love, respect and kindness in my marriage, and my relationships with others. Forgive me for not always doing this, but thank you so much for your grace to always try again. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
How can you honor your spouse this week? If you aren’t married, who do you value that you can privately or publicly honor and let them know you appreciate them?
If you are single, you will be blessed reading Kacie’s book:
God, Where Is My Husband? 10 Things to Know While You Wait
Meet Today’s Writer: Kacie Starr Long is an author, Christian talk show host & the proud wife of Alfred T. Long, Sr. They reside in St. Louis and are Campus Pastors at Church in Action in St. Louis, MO. For more information about Kacie, visit: www.InspiredOverflow.com
Thank you for this beautiful reminder. “Wives serve their husbands.” I love that. It’s so easy to forget how much of a difference it makes in marriage.