Day #6 Love Adventure

Fourteen Days of Love

renewing, rebuilding, reinventing, and reinvesting

My Friend,
When our kids were little we started a birthday tradition where my husband would take them out for a dinner date, at their choice of a restaurant. We don’t eat out much and it was funny how many times the kids would just choose to go to McDonald’s with dad! In recent years, I have been inspired by my sister-in-law Ashley who has three little people and goes on regular dates with them. Honestly, it never occurred to me to take my kids out individually on dates throughout the year. My first four children were born within eight years, and I was a stay-at-home, homeschool mom. In looking back now, I realize that while we had a lot of time together, it wasn’t individual time to get to know their uniqueness and what was on their hearts.
I was getting my hair re-colored the other day and my hair dresser and I got talking about our teen sons and the idea of dating our kids. We recognized that going out with them would be so much easier if we had started younger. I felt especially grateful that I had taken the leap and invited my 16 yr old out to breakfast with me during Christmas break and he had said yes! I had heard him saying he wanted to go to Waffle House because he had never been and his friends all talked about it, so that’s where we went. There had been tension in our mother son relationship over his dating a few months before, and my oldest daughter had encouraged us to talk more so I could know my son better. So with a little nervousness, we headed to town for breakfast. I didn’t expect him to open the door for me, or to be so much fun when interacting with the waffle house staff. Conversation began to flow and I got to know my son so much better. I was intentional about being curious about his passions and ideas about life, and not judging things he said. I told him stories from my growing up and listened to struggles he’s had with friends. As we drove home, I felt like a million bucks and I knew I wanted to keep going on mom son dates even when he’s 30.
Today’s love adventure is to give to others- but honestly going on a date with your child brings you just as much joy as them. We think of Valentine’s Day as romantics dinner dates with our lover, but our children are a result of a love that was there and while that may have changed with their father, you still have the miracle of that little person who calls you mom. I love this quote about sons, “A woman has one boy she will never lose feelings for- her son.” Schedule a dinner date with your child, or several so you can do it with each of them. Since this is a celebration of your love for them, go ahead and dress up and wear perfume. This tells them that you value them. You may even suggest that your son can open the door for you and he will probably love it (if he doesn’t think that’s cool, don’t take it personal- keep moving forward!).
Here are two links for ideas for more mother child dates if you want to continue to do this once a month. I heard of one mom with four children and each week she takes one child out for breakfast or lunch. With my busy schedule, I would probably only do one child per every 3 months, and it’s something I’m going to have to look ahead and write on my calendar.
“Why you should date your kids- 50 date ideas”
Mom & Son dates that Create Memories for a Lifetime” (I saw a link from this page for Mom & Daughter)Make a special memory (or several with each of your children) during this month of love. You will treasure the investment of time and the money for dinner out, for years and years to come.Your friend,
Grace

Day #6 Love Adventure

Today’s focus is giving to others – and this is for your kids. They grow up so fast- I am still grieving and adjusting to my two oldest getting married and moving out of my home. I miss them terribly. Plan a date night to break up the routine of cooking supper,  folding laundry and telling them to clean up their toys.
Go on a dinner date with your child. Dress up and wear perfume. Take selfies, let them pick snapchat filters and have fun. Be curious about their life- their perspective, their friendships, their concerns. Ask what they are looking forward to and be their champion. Be sure to say, “I love you”
Renew: I’ve decided to add “Renew” to our other three R- words “rebuilding, reinventing, reinvesting.” The renew was part of the original set of words that I learned in a workshop, but I had forgotten the importance of that first step. Sometimes we can’t move to rebuilding until we’ve had renewing in our hearts. Are you exhausted as a mom? Do you find that you are so worn out from all the other drama in your life that you are snapping at everything your kids say? Take a pause and go to God. Give him your fears and pain. Ask for His peace and comfort. Then ask Him to give you new glasses to see your children. Pray for your mother’s heart to be renewed so you can connect with your child’s heart. And if your teen won’t go out to dinner with you, pray for them. Write them an “I love you” note instead. You can also post on the Jewel Warrior page, and we will pray for you. One of my friends is dealing with the heartache of watching her teenage daughter deal with mental illness and the chaos and pain that creates. You can’t do this alone mom. You need a sisterhood.

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